Quinn’s $14,000,000

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AUTHOR: R Quinn on 10/23/2024

When I was a boy I had an uncle who researched the Quinn family history. He told a family legend about a ancestor who emigrated to Australia from Ireland – more like transported for stealing Trevelyan’s corn. 

In any case, he supposedly became extremely rich even displaying a five carat diamond ring. Ever since I heard this story I have had a recurring dream that I receive a letter from a law firm in Australia saying it has been searching for me for decades as I am the last relative of this fellow – enclosed is a check for $14,000,000, exactly, never more or less.

Since the amount never changes, I wonder if it includes 150 years of interest? No matter, I’ve been waiting seventy years and either the mail is really slow or could it be – dare I say – just a dream.  I’d be happy if they just sent the ring. 

My family knows about my dream and would you believe, they make fun of me. “ Did you get the letter yet Pa? You’re running out of time.” Yeah I am and I’m grasping at straws. Every time the lottery reaches $14 million cash  I buy tickets. Now that may not be an inheritance, but maybe I got the dream wrong – $14 million is $14 million after all.

I have considered flying to New South Wales – the area with the greatest concentration of transported Irish – and knocking on the door of every law firm, “ Here I am, stop looking, I’ll save you the postage. Heck, it’s a long flight, I’d have to spend money and fly first class. I guess I’ll keep waiting.

While I am waiting I have also dreamed about the plan when the check arrives. Will my local bank cash it, will it be in Australian dollars? Fourteen million Australian dollars is only $ 9,317,840 USD and that would mess up things, I dream in US money.

The first thing I’ll do is find a good estate lawyer and a good tax advisor. How do I get most of the money to my children and grandchildren with the least taxes? How do I set up trusts for the grandchildren? And then there is the pesky business of wills.

Being wealthy is no easy task. 

I’ve reviewed the list of organizations we donate to each year and updated the amounts – just in case. I plan to make the standard deduction useless. 

I was considering buying the Bentley I have previously mentioned, but it appears it won’t fit in my assigned condo garage parking space. I suppose I will have to settle for a Mercedes. One problem after another it is. 

Where will I put the cash while all this planning is going on? I’m not greedy,  my Fidelity money market will do. After all I’ve been told retirement is not an asset accumulation phase. The MM is currently paying 4.51%. Hey, that’s $631,400 in Australian interest – about two Bentleys worth. 

We will definitely join a country club – if I can find one to accept me and perhaps a golf lesson or two. Maybe I can get my golf score closer to my age than my blood pressure. 

Dreaming is such fun. I still hold out hope. I’m hedging my bet the next time the lottery cash amount reaches $14 million, but it’s not the same, no family history and all those taxes and where is that ring?